Today was equally as great. I got to spend some quality time with some great friends that I do not get to see anywhere near as often as I would like to. In the car on the way home, I had a mini meltdown. I feel like every bit of insecurity I have with leads to my anxiety and depression is linked back to work.
Knowing that it is almost time for my medical leave to end puts me into a complete anxiety attack. Today, I pushed myself to drive past my building that I work in. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do in my life. As an adult, I shouldn't feel like that. I'm leaning more and more towards not going back to work. At least, not to the place where I currently am. Physically, I know that I am unable to perform even the basic duties of my job. It's not fair to myself or to my coworkers for me to be there when I am physically and mentally not there.
I have no idea what I'll do from here if I do put in my notice, but my decision has to come sooner than later. I know once I am able to make up my mind, that I might finally be able to sleep a little bit better each night. I want to work. I want to have a career. However, I cannot go back to a place that was so toxic that it played a major role in me becoming so inflicted with anxiety and depression.
What the hell do you do when your job is making you sick?