For some reason, my anxiety always seems to flare up when I’m at the grocery store. I have no idea what about the grocery store triggers it, but if I can make it through a shopping trip without leaving my cart in the middle of an aisle and running away, I always come out feeling like I just ran a marathon.
Tonight, I had to make a trip to the store, and it took all my strength not to walk out in the middle of aisle seven. There was a family (mom, dad, and SIX kids) that seemed to shadow my moves throughout the store. As many times as I tried to change my way of zigzagging through the store, I could not escape this family. The children were running up and down, grabbing food from off the shelves, and climbing in and out of the two shopping carts. I could feel the already narrow rows becoming stifling around me.
I just want to be able to walk through the grocery store without having a panic attack. If I can’t handle the grocery store, how the hell am I supposed to handle something like work? I keep feeling like I’m making forward progress, but then something like a trip to the store makes me feel like I’m slipping backwards.
I’m not sure how to get myself over this hump, but something has to change. I am ready to feel like I can successfully be a member of society again. I want desperately to be able to go out with my friends, to be able to sit at a restaurant without freaking out, but I’m just not sure how to get there. I miss the old me, I’m just still trying to find where the old me is hiding.
Tonight, I had to make a trip to the store, and it took all my strength not to walk out in the middle of aisle seven. There was a family (mom, dad, and SIX kids) that seemed to shadow my moves throughout the store. As many times as I tried to change my way of zigzagging through the store, I could not escape this family. The children were running up and down, grabbing food from off the shelves, and climbing in and out of the two shopping carts. I could feel the already narrow rows becoming stifling around me.
I just want to be able to walk through the grocery store without having a panic attack. If I can’t handle the grocery store, how the hell am I supposed to handle something like work? I keep feeling like I’m making forward progress, but then something like a trip to the store makes me feel like I’m slipping backwards.
I’m not sure how to get myself over this hump, but something has to change. I am ready to feel like I can successfully be a member of society again. I want desperately to be able to go out with my friends, to be able to sit at a restaurant without freaking out, but I’m just not sure how to get there. I miss the old me, I’m just still trying to find where the old me is hiding.