My mind always seems to race at night, leading me to not be able to sleep. Even the help of natural supplements like melatonin or prescription strength sleeping pills aren’t enough to stop my mind enough to allow me to fall asleep or stay sleeping. My anxieties and depression have a way of sneaking up on me at night. I don’t know if it is because the rest of the world seems to be asleep and I have no one to confide in during the night, or if I just try to internalize everything during the day and it comes spilling out at night.
When my psychiatrist first suggested I talk to a therapist, I was very reluctant. I thought that I was able to handle my feelings on my own and part of me felt ashamed for having to talk to someone about all the thoughts and emotions that were circling around in my mind. I know during my first few sessions, I was still holding back from my therapist, afraid of whatever I had to say I would be judged for.
Now that I have formed a bond with my therapist, I cannot imagine not having her to talk to. She has helped me to dig to find out what is causing me to feel so depressed and anxious, and has assisted me to find ways to cope. We have been working on ways to change the approach I take to thinking, to try to see things in a more positive light.
I know that I have a long way to go before the sleepless nights stop, and that it may be months or even years before I stop talking with my therapist but for the time being, I am okay with that. Sometimes I feel so numb during the day, that when I need to sit and have a good cry at night, it is the only way I feel human, like I actually have some kind of emotion.
For now, each night I’ll try to sleep and when I fail, I always have writing to turn to. And Netflix. There is always Netflix.
When my psychiatrist first suggested I talk to a therapist, I was very reluctant. I thought that I was able to handle my feelings on my own and part of me felt ashamed for having to talk to someone about all the thoughts and emotions that were circling around in my mind. I know during my first few sessions, I was still holding back from my therapist, afraid of whatever I had to say I would be judged for.
Now that I have formed a bond with my therapist, I cannot imagine not having her to talk to. She has helped me to dig to find out what is causing me to feel so depressed and anxious, and has assisted me to find ways to cope. We have been working on ways to change the approach I take to thinking, to try to see things in a more positive light.
I know that I have a long way to go before the sleepless nights stop, and that it may be months or even years before I stop talking with my therapist but for the time being, I am okay with that. Sometimes I feel so numb during the day, that when I need to sit and have a good cry at night, it is the only way I feel human, like I actually have some kind of emotion.
For now, each night I’ll try to sleep and when I fail, I always have writing to turn to. And Netflix. There is always Netflix.